Summer Cold
Why is it when you have a summer cold, which is the most horrible thing to have anyway, that it makes you think about everything. You don't feel good physically - your body aches, your head is stuffed up and you can't half hear, so let's add insult to injury and make you feel horrible mentally as well!
It's not that your life is bad; it's just that the day to day mundane bullshit gets to you. You can't pinpoint what is it that you want to be different. There's nothing in your life that's horrible. But sometimes its like "Is this all there is?" There really should be more. But what is that more? You don't know what the more is. What is it exactly that you find unacceptable?
You get that fleeting thought of just running away. But then clarity sinks in and you realize you would never do it. You are not that person. You couldn't do that to your family & friends. Then you are left with that feeling of letdown. That since you wouldn't do it, you are left in the land of blah. Once again, you are left with "Is this all there is?".
But, like a summer cold, the feeling goes away. You are once again content with your mundane day-to-day bullshit, not so much feeling like bullshit most days. Until a song, a feeling, a phrase or another summer cold brings it back again. Each time, a little more forceful than the last.
And again you ask, "Is this all there is?"
It's not that your life is bad; it's just that the day to day mundane bullshit gets to you. You can't pinpoint what is it that you want to be different. There's nothing in your life that's horrible. But sometimes its like "Is this all there is?" There really should be more. But what is that more? You don't know what the more is. What is it exactly that you find unacceptable?
You get that fleeting thought of just running away. But then clarity sinks in and you realize you would never do it. You are not that person. You couldn't do that to your family & friends. Then you are left with that feeling of letdown. That since you wouldn't do it, you are left in the land of blah. Once again, you are left with "Is this all there is?".
But, like a summer cold, the feeling goes away. You are once again content with your mundane day-to-day bullshit, not so much feeling like bullshit most days. Until a song, a feeling, a phrase or another summer cold brings it back again. Each time, a little more forceful than the last.
And again you ask, "Is this all there is?"
posted by Denise | 5:33 PM
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2 comments
