Farewell To You

"Farewell To You"

Well it's time to say goodbye my friend
I'm glad you stayed until the end
I hope that you've enjoyed the time we spent
Though I know that I will be back again

I don't know just how soon my friend
Until we meet again just think of me
I'll think of you

It was easier to say hello
Than to say goodbye
Now the bus is leaving once again
I bid farewell to you

Oh oh yeah I remember all the fun we had
And all the tears when times were bad
But you were there when we were down and out
And I know that I will not forget
What was written and what was said
And who was there when we were not on top Of the world
It was easier

Yes it's time to say auf Wiedersehn Sayonata and ciao my friend
You'll always have a place within my heart
And rock will come and rock will go
The scene will change and time will show
But still I hope that I'll be there for you
Be there for me

- White Lion

Of course, the only way I can say goodbye to you, my friend, is through a song. It will not be the same here every day without your smiling face, your random uses of "Fuck" and the drama that is you. You have given me so much joy each day that I can't even put into words what it means to me. You have shown me that I can have a girl as a friend again and not have her piss me off every other day. You are truly a unique individual whom I have felt honored to know as well as I've gotten to know you. Your essence will be with me forever.

I am so excited for you to embark on this new journey & opportunity. The selfish part of me would have loved to have said, "NO! Don't go! You'll hate it. Stay here!" But, as your friend, that would have been the wrong thing to say. You need to explore every opportunity life has for you so that you don't experience the "What If's" and "I Should Have's" one day. You have such a vibrancy for life that needs to be allowed to flourish to it's fullest.

Fly, my little one. Be free & rejoice!

I'll miss you (lots of tears) :( :( :( :(

The Essence of "N"

"N" is my 4 year old son. I'm sure all parents feel that their child is the most special child in the whole world. I have to honestly say, even if he was the child of a friend of mine, I would think he was a pretty cool kid.

The things he comes out with can knock you over. I was sitting at the table one night eating a sandwich and went to get me some more chips. He looks over at me and says "What the hell are you doing?" My first reaction was to say "Getting more chips, what does the hell does it look like I'm doing?" But then I realized who said it and who I was supposed to be (THE MOM). With every ounce of self-control not to bust out laughing, I turned to him and said "I'm getting more chips. Don't use that word, it's bad". Which of course, led to a complete review of all the "bad words" he's been banned from using!

His dad was watching him play a video game one day and kept "back seat playing". After a few minutes of listening to his dad say "move this way, jump over that, etc", he turned around and told him to "just sit there and look pretty".

He has been practicing his facial expressions and sound effects lately and loves to ask me if I can make a certain face or noise. Now for those who don't know me, I am an expression & sound effect queen.

His favorite CD right now is a CD my husband made for me with all my favorite songs. His favorite tracks on it are:

Fat Boy Slim - Right About Now
Tesla - Signs
Stevie Ray Vaughn - Pride & Joy
Lynard Skynard - Tuesday's Gone & Simple Man
Credence Clearwater Revival - Ninety Nine & a Half
Led Zeppelin - Ramble On
Credence - I Put A Spell On You

The other day "Ramble On" was playing and he's just singing along with me. At the end of the song, he goes "I sang that great Mommy, didn't I? Play it again so I can sing it again!" Now another fact about me is that I LOVE music. I said before he was born that if I taught him nothing else but to love music & books, my job was done. My little protege is coming along nicely!

He has an interesting white patch on the right side of his hair. Plus, half of his right eyebrow & eyelashes are white. Luckily, he has the personality to pull this off. Everyone who has ever seen it always exclaims "Cool!" It's just who he is.

It took us almost two years to get pregnant and I truly believe he has some unknown purpose to be here. He has brought so much joy to my mom and to my father-in-law that it is amazing. Those two are so enthralled by this child, that he could just sit there and breathe and they'd be amazed. He is spoiled beyond comprehension, but isn't a brat (unless you catch him when he's really tired).

He's still at that age where he likes to climb up in my lap and just cuddle. He told me the other day, "Mommy, I love you. I love you more than me!" How could you not love someone who tells you they love you more than themselves!

Not to say he can't be a little shit sometimes and piss the hell out me, because Lord knows, he can! But usually all it takes is a few days with his grandparents and we all appreciate each other a little more.

His favorite things are: Danny Phantom, Martin Mysteries, Fairly Odd Parents, Walker Texas Ranger, Batman, trucks, music, balls and guns. He is as boy as boy can be. He even has this little tough voice he uses when he plays cars. (apparantly there is an "official" car playing position and voice that is required when playing - I have learned this being a mom to a boy and can now assume the position and the voice!).

Stubborn?! Please. Let's not even go there! The difference between him and me is that he will stand up for what he wants and believes. At such at young age to have that ability is admirable. Very frustrating, mind you, but admirable. I've always stressed to him that he can tell me anything. I will continue to stress this to him and hope and pray that he continues to believe it as he gets older.

It is such a trip to watch and see how he is changing day by day. On one hand, I can't wait for him to grow up so that I can see the man he is going to be. On the other hand, I want him to stay this magical age forever. To see him discover new things and to eagerly embrace the knowledge he is gaining is extraordinary. He is literally like a sponge right now.

I will do everything I can to make sure that sponge never dries out.

Our First Trip To The ER As Parents

When I was driving home Monday night, I received a call from my husband. I figured either he was going to complain about me being a little later than I said, or to let me know he was leaving my Mom's from picking up the little guy. No, it was neither of those choices. Apparently, when they were leaving, they had a little mishap. When they were stepping off of my Mom's porch, my husband somehow lost his balance. Try as he might, he could not recover his balance (as his hands were full) and fell. Unfortunately when he fell, he fell into our 4 year old and knocked him completely out of his tennis shoes. So my son goes flying backwards and my husband land on top of him. The back of my son's head (which luckily had a toboggan hat on it) hit the sidewalk. My mom, who is on oxygen 24/7 was watching them leave from the doorway (this is as far as she can reach with her "line"). She said it was like watching a movie in slow motion. She throws off her line and rushes out. At this point she only knows that my husband fell, not that he is on our son (her precious grandson). Of course my son is crying hysterically at this point. So they try to calm him down and assess the damage. My husband had mud on his pants and had scraped one of his elbows (we found a bruise on the front of his calf the next day). There was no blood on my son's head (always a good sign) but there appeared to be a substantial lump forming. So I call the pediatrician to find out if we should take him to the ER. At this point, a completely different Denise takes over. I logically pull over to a Park N Ride so that I can talk to my husband and call the doctor without trying to drive at the same time. The doc said to just keep an eye on him and that if he starts throwing up (several times) and his pupils are dialated to then take him to the ER. So I relay this information to my husband and then to my Mom and proceed home.

They arrive home about 15 minutes after me and the little one is whimpering. I check his eyes, which are fine and then set him up on the couch with "BooBoo Bear". He falls asleep for about 45 minutes and wakes up hysterical. He's crying & crying saying his head hurts. Again, enter "Calm Denise" (I'm still not sure who the hell she is!). I'm holding him and trying to soothe him and he's asking to go to bed (now, when a 4 year old asks to go to bed, you know something is up!). About this point, one of the symptoms appears (yes, the throw up). For you non-parents, I won't be obnoxiously descriptive, as some parents can be. Lets just say, he had eaten a very good dinner that night! My husband leaps up and immediately starts getting dressed to rush him to the hospital. My son is very upset that he has messed up our clothes. He's like "Oh Mommy, look what I did!?" So I tell him "It's ok sweetie! Daddy's going to go get you and I some clean clothes. Then we're going to take a little ride to the hospital to make sure your head is ok." Spazzo runs upstairs and grabs clothes for us. (Now, for those who don't know me, I am a coordination freak.) Even in his hyper state, my husband knew to grab my other shoes, because the ones I had on wouldn't match the pants he grabbed for me (I've trained him well! Although, he did neglect to get me a different color of socks, but.... what can you do!). So I get changed, get the little one changed, grab his bag with a change of clothes and his jammies, some plastic grocery bags and a handful of paper towels. We get into the car (I drove, obviously) and I get my son set up. I told him that the plastic bag was "just in case" and that I'd set it beside him. He goes, "maybe we should just put it in my lap". Good kid! Luckily we did, because about 3 miles from our house, he let loose again. My husband's freaking, oh my God, we should have called the ambulance, let me sit with him. So I pull over so that he can move to the back seat. My son's all calm, like "why are we stopping here, Mommy?" I explain to my husband that an ambulance would have scared him way more and that the idea is to keep him calm.

We get to the hospital. A couple with a baby about 8 months old are checking in ahead of us. They see us come in with my son wrapped in his fuzzy blanket and tell the receptionist to take us first (I'm thinking, you all have a baby and you're wanting us to go first? Strange....). We go back to the Triage area and sit for maybe 15 minutes (the baby people did go first). Unbeknownst to me, Monday night is apparantely the hot night in the ER. They tell us to go sit down, that they have moved us up the list and it shouldn't be long. No sooner did we go to the waiting area, sit down and get situated did they call our name. We go get registered and in the middle of registration, they come and get my husband and son. I meet them back in the exam room. About 10 minutes later a doctor comes in and examines him. They schedule a CAT scan and come and get us for that about 15 -20 minutes later. That child laid as still as dirt during the entire CAT scan. We were all amazed! About 20 minutes later we had the results that everything was normal. He only had a mild concussion. In the course of examining him, they did determine he had an ear infection (he had a doctor's appointment Wednesday anyway for this) and decided they would give him a shot of antibiotics. Especially since he had thrown up, they didn't want to chance giving him liquid medicine. This was the only long period of waiting we had. Unfortunately, while we were waiting, he finally fell asleep. Now, I'm not sure how many children you have seen sleeping, but they have a perpencity to stick their butts in the air when they sleep. Prime target! Imagine being sound asleep after this grueling episode and being awoken by a needle sticking you in the ass! Not a happy way to wake up! And believe you me, he was none too happy. We both had to hold him down while they finished with the shot. Luckily, at this point, we could leave. We get him in the carseat and he looks at me and says "Mommy, my butt is burning!" It was very hard not to laugh! Luckily, he fell asleep before we were out of the parking lot. The whole ordeal took 3 1/2 hours. I personally think that is a new ER speed record. I have never been to an ER (luckily I haven't been to that many anyway) and have it last shorter than 8 -10 hours. I was highly impressed. The next day I stayed home with him. He had to hold his head when he coughed when he first got up (similar to what you do when you have a hangover!) and he said his butt hurt from the shot. But he was in a fantastic mood all day and in fact was completely agreeable and unsassy. By Wednesday morning, he was playing make-believe with his cars and singing his own little song! Today, he was back at school.

My husband was so wracked with guilt. He swore he "broke" his son. At one point I had to tell him to chill, that I could only take care of one of them at a time, and our son won. He must of called me 20 times on Tuesday to make sure he was ok. Luckily for him our son isn't older, or he could have milked this for all it was worth (he probably would have ended up with that riding Batman car he's been wanting!).

But, all survived. Unfortunately it probably won't be our last trip to the ER (especially since my husband wants him to play football one day), but at least for our first endever, it was a good experience.